"No tengo dinero", this phrase used to be use by my father, every single time you asked him for any item displayed on the windows store or activity he didn't want to assist at the school. Funnier is that "SI!! tenía dinero" but the money was supposed to be used in other matters, I never buy it!! so I always went to the closest person and with the same authority, 'my mother'. Ironically my mother used to be the economist in the entire family and the one with power so if you where ok with her, that would mean that you were fine the entire time.
Just telling this story in my post because I never learn to say to my self "no tengo dinero" instead I started spending every single cent I had in my pocket and realise that it was a funny revenge against this childhood memories, a battle between my conscious and my desire, most of the time my desire kicked off that fucking bastard conscious, I created a 'mother' and 'father' situation in my head, and with that i have to battle every single day.
I really thought it was an addiction to spend, even a hate emotion against the money like "lets kill you, die fucking money (you say this words when spending it)" and after that you receive this horrible letter that says "you haven't paid the council tax" FUCK!.
After few months, desperate to find a job, because you are stuck and fucked up, you find the famous English Pubs; mommy is not helping you anymore and daddy is well far from that idea because "you are and independent man!", so you decide to give it a try and that auto-eficient idea of "I can do everything" comes to your head and you start working more that 45 hours a week, just to realize that you couldn't be more stupid loosing the time to find a job in the fields you like, is not to be snob, but unless you are a manager (and I mean the top ones) you don't really use your brain, and for some people this is the dream job!!
DESPITE! my bad english and my every day battle trying to get rid of the money (and God it is really hard) there comes a time when you have to wake up, open your eyes and see "si tengo dinero" is just, YOU DON'T FUCKING USED IN THE RIGHT WAY!! and the mediocre jobs is because you were SLEEPING!!!!!!.
Well I just wrote this to remind you all how stupid you are if you got a talent and you don't use it, but most important of all
DON'T WASTE THE FUCKING MONEY IN STUPID THINGS!!!